“We have once again invited a woman of color to the table and asked for her story, promising to be good listeners, but we have failed. We haven’t honored the pain of her telling it. We haven’t sat with what she says. We haven’t defended her when she was attacked. It’s not okay.” Author not cited.
I feel this deeply. I agree with what the author says here. They were writing in response to a scathing review of Mekdes Haddis’ book: A Just Mission.
I was originally sharing this quote, with a link, and then I realized that so often I share these things, and write similar things because I want to shine light on the shame that is crippling us and driving us apart, but then I realized that by doing this I am holding up one individual as a public scapegoat in shameful sacrifice.
That’s not what resilient traumatized Jesus would do, and I want to be more like Him. I share the writer’s pain around the condemnation of Mekdes’ words, but I think that I am realizing that Jesus shared the better ways of love with us in clear, general terms. He flogged corrupt religious systems, but He never flogged an individual as far as I can recall.
Resilient traumatized Jesus who from birth experienced what it meant to be hunted in order to be neutralized as a threat to power, who understood what it meant to be a part of an oppressed group, who understood what it was like to be a refugee, who understood what it was like to be labelled a bastard child, who understood what it meant to live in a ghetto etc etc etc allowed people to speak without condemning them or shaming them publicly or privately.
It seems like over and over, Jesus fraternized with everyone, He ate with everyone, He knelt in the dirt with everyone, and quietly assured individuals that He would never condemn them, while urging them to carry on and do better. And He challenged corrupt, misguided religious systems.
Resilient, traumatized Jesus, I’m failing hard at being more like Him.
I was being quite hard on myself when I clearly saw what I was doing this morning, which immediately prompted me to edit what I had originally posted – which was just the opening quote with a link.
As I’m reflecting I realize that I didn’t feel shame though. So as My Love (God) continued talking with me, in conjunction with something else amazing that my dear friend, Tina, shared with me today – incredible feedback to grow. I just felt reassured.
They were like, “Look closer, Adia.” This is not who you are, this is a growth opportunity. Look at who you are. Where are you headed today? How has your life been reflecting this light that you haven’t been quite unconsciously competent in yet?”
And just now as I was typing this to share it with my dear friend, my eyes were lifted, almost involuntarily, like my whole face gently lifted upwards to a plaque that she gave me which is on my wall of love and strength above my bed… and now I have tears, loved, loving, empowered, recovering hyper-independent tears.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name: you are Mine.” Isaiah 43:1
My Love (God) continuously gives me “feedback to grow” with no hint of shame, only love. I am so grateful.
Of Thunderstorms and Rainbows 