An open letter of gratitude, hope and love; of joy, and sanctuary; of Saran.
Yesterday evening my sweet child was spiralling in the insanity of hyper-focus and impulsivity that is a part of her neurological and psychological reality. Life affects us in ways that, as Dr. Bruce Perry says, leaves us “speaking love with an accent”. Of his patients, who are a beautiful reflection of us all he says:
Like people who learn a foreign language later in life, Virginia and Laura will never speak the language of love without an accent.”
— Bruce D. Perry
At first, last evening, I was panicked, briefly terrified that we were re-entering the cycle of insanity through which we lived from February 17 to March 7.
She spiraled right back into my arms, sleeping peacefully right now beside me.
My state of panic was significantly shortened this time. That’s because God has taught me how to release her in freedom laced through and through with love. Like the prodigal son, like the lost coin, like the lost sheep, there will eventually be in all a return, and a celebration accompanying that return.
I have already summoned the Spirit of God to transform harm to victory over her. I called two whole teams to unite with me in faith for this. And when my faith sags, I can cry out to My Love, and ask Them to help my unbelief. They get it. They get me.
I have to laugh 😂 at how things go in life. I have been laughing at it all this morning. 😂😂😂 (I’m glad for emojis).
I keep saying that crisis opens doors, and it’s a truth that reminds me to slow down and respond with precision in any given moment.
Then there is God’s interaction with Elijah in 1 Kings 19:13-15, or thereabouts, on anointing Hazael and Elisha, which when interpreted says that as humans ALL of us will make some very big harmful decisions throughout the anointed course of our lives. It’s so so okay to be wrong; it is clearly not THE best, and it is OUR best.
I’ll slow down and I’ll still make BIG WRONG harmful choices. This is what it is to be human. This is where God has opened my heart, softened it, and lined it with the gold of joy and compassion, and sang the name Saran over me. Joy, refuge, sanctuary, human made of dust with whom God is infinitely patient.
And what a gracious God of love is with us, serving us, with the fullness of grace which David experienced and poured out in a beautiful tribute in Psalm 103.
May we accept the idea that this God serves us in love, calms our anxieties, expands our territory of love, and may we invite God to activate wisdom coupled with the gift of divine love and grace which understands mysteries that brings the kingdom of heaven here now on Earth as it is in heaven.
Thank you for being perfectly you. Thank you for holding space for us to be perfectly us, in Jesus name.
With love and solidarity,
Saran Lewis
“Perfection impresses it does not inspire” (Stephanie Morales-Beaulieu, Anything but Ordinary).
PS. Again, I am asking us to reflect on how generously we respond to the dead, and then I call us to assess how we are with the living with whom we have the opportunity to experience a loaves and fishes, walking on water kind of life.